Differently Gendered
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Gender in the Personal Sense
I keep these thoughts here for others who find themselves facing a similar journey, and also for their friends, family, and significant others.
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My presentation to my church, on the occasion of my coming out.
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Coming out at work. Yes, I still work there, six years later. |
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| A conversation on discovery and coming to terms. | |
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A personal view on "surgery" (as if there were only one "surgery"). It's not for everyone, and hasn't been the right choice for me... yet. |
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But let's back up a minute........... RLT is NOT the same as living full-time in the gender role of one's choice. |
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Your feelings are fairly typical for someone facing this issue for the first time. You can take some comfort in the probability that your cousin has encountered this before, and expects it. |
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How many of us pass that well? Who has the right to make decisions like that for any of us? What are you telling people who don't pass? What does it take to become passable? What do you mean by passing?
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Some people "hit the wall" and can't go on without transition; at that point, if the choice is transition or die, then transition seems like the better idea, no matter what the difficulties may be.
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Fully accepting ourselves as women (or men) makes a difference in how we feel about ourselves, and how we treat ourselves, and how we present ourselves to others. Other people pick up on this in subtle ways, and the most important thing that they can perceive is our own self-acceptance.
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Olivia was going to be my "sister" in transition. That never happened. |
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I'm going through puberty again, since I didn't do it right the first time. The first time was like a graft that didn't take, or a transplant that got rejected. |
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She can talk to me in a parking lot, and be OK with it at the time, but later she can't talk about what she saw. |
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Related Items |
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It was the first time I'd ever gone anywhere in a dress. When I got home, there she was, looking back at me from the mirror. She wasn't me, but she couldn't exist without me, either. We both knew that. |
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Everyone always tries to figure out Why she does what she does; which as any good person can tell you if he bothered is the wrong approach. Girls like her, they're not so much Why girls as Because girls. --k.tatroe |
![[image: the transgender twist]](../../diane/image/tgtwist.gif) |
Copyright © 2001 by Diane Wilson. All rights reserved.