I will begin with some history. Some of you may remember Olivia Palmer; she also worked where I work at BNR. She came out to management here, but died soon after that, so BNR didn't really have to deal with the issue then. When I came out, there was no policy. Two other transsexuals surfaced in BNR at the same time; one here in Raleigh, and another at a different site. To put it politely, BNR had to do some scrambling to come up with a policy.

This has been a good company for transition. BNR is a Canadian company, and--possibly due to Canadian law; I don't know for certain--had already established a domestic partner benefits policy. As far as I know, this wasn't a problem at the Canadian sites, but in North Carolina and in Texas, people actually quit their jobs rather than work for a company that provided benefits to gay partners. BNR stood firm on that issue. The environment here is open enough that there is at least one gay person who has his partner's picture on his desk. I was fortunate that the same human resources person who handled the domestic partner controversy also handled my transition; she was ready to deal with tough issues.

My coming out was a little scary. I had been unemployed for a while before taking this job (due to IBM's downsizing, not due to gender issues), and when I started this job, I really had little time to establish myself before coming out. I told management at my contract agency after I'd been working for them for only five weeks. They handled it very well, as I had expected. There are several black females working in the agency office, and as long as the agency's non-discrimination policy was satisfactory to them, I knew that I had a better chance than I might have had elsewhere. One of those women was my recruiter; she had worked long and hard to find a position for me, so I came out to her first as a way of verifying the non-discrimination policy.

A day or two later, I came out to the branch manager. I was well-prepared for this, and it went very smoothly. There were two important aspects in my preparation. First, I had plenty of information for them to work with. This included the I.F.G.E. booklet, Employer's Guide to Gender Transition, and a copy of my own "Transitions" paper. Second, I had invested a great deal of time and energy in learning to talk to people about my transsexualism, so my ability to be comfortable while talking about this, and to be open, honest, and direct about the issues, helped set the tone for my transition. This is crucial; when people do not know how to react to us, they will frequently watch us to see how well we accept ourselves. If we are comfortable with who we are, then others will find it easier to be comfortable with us, also.

Things got hard for me at this point. One of the reasons I had worked so hard at learning to come out was that I knew I would have to deal with this on the job, and I was confident in my ability to make it work. But the agency wanted to tell BNR, and I had to sit back and let them handle it. They told BNR's human resources people, who in turn told my manager. When I knew that my manager had been told, I approached him to talk about transition, and that completed the loop. Once again, though, I had to let my BNR manager and human resources handle the issues from then on, and once more I felt like I had lost control. In retrospect, however, it really had to happen this way. Coming out in the workplace is a business issue as much as it is a personal one.

The other transsexual who surfaced at BNR in Raleigh, whom I shall refer to as "Y.", came out in a different way. She had transitioned just before starting the contract, so BNR had assumed that she was female. However, although Y. passes very well, she did get read, and the restroom issue exploded around her. Specifically, an anonymous e-mail was sent to several second-line managers on our project. It was full of hate and misinformation, continually referring to Y. in male terms, and accusing Y. of wanting access to the women's restrooms for sexual purposes.

So there were two of us at once, in different circumstances, and BNR had to learn to deal with gender transition while under fire. BNR handled Y.'s situation very well, although they fumbled it for a few days by prohibiting her from using the women's restrooms. Their final policy was based on the fact that they did not do a gender check on any other females that they hired, and they had accepted Y.'s contract under the assumption that she was a genetic female, so they decided not to treat Y. differently from other females. Y. used the women's restrooms from then on, until she recently completed her contract. There was only one further incident; a female team-member spotted her in the restroom one day soon after all of this happened, and fled out of the room. That person transferred to another team shortly afterward.

Along with their decision to treat Y. equally, BNR's human resources team realized that education was necessary. They held a meeting of all the women in the project, excluding Y., and brought in a psychology professor to be an "outside authority" on us. He teaches human sexuality courses at a nearby university, and by all accounts his portrayal of transsexuals was accurate and empathetic. This helped significantly in calming the atmosphere around Y.'s rather involuntary outing.

My situation was much different. I had worked there as a male, and I'm tall enough to stand out in a crowd as either male or female. We--human resources, my management, and I--all had to assume that everyone would know. Even for those who did not know, we had to assume that I would get read, or that word would get around. As far as I am concerned, there really is no other sane way to approach transition.

The restroom issue was actually easy to resolve in my case. BNR does have gender-neutral restrooms, and I am still using those. During the period that we were planning my transition, we all agreed that there really was no other choice, simply because I was known and recognizable, and also because we had to assume that people might figure out at some point that my sexual orientation was (and still is) toward women. Given what had just happened with Y., the restroom issue was simply too risky to deal with in any other way.

How to handle problems was another issue to be settled during the planning period. BNR decided to include transgender issues under their non-discrimination policy, and explicitly told me that it is their intent to provide a safe and comfortable workplace for everyone, including me. (Since that time, the company has shown its willingness to enforce this; in different circumstances than Y., I have also had an instance of sexually harassing e-mail. Although no official action was necessary in my case, my manager did tell me that such behavior will not be tolerated. It was nice to feel that kind of support.) I am very glad that this whole area was not included under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I am no more disabled than a person who is gay, black, or genetically female, nor do I wish to be treated as disabled.

Coming out to my team was a more difficult issue. There were a few that I'd already told, and at the meeting between women on the project and the psychology professor, there was an anonymous reference to me as "another transsexual" who would transition in a couple of months. At one point, one of the people I'd told came back to me and said that the rumor mill had attached my name to that anonymous reference. I passed this on to my management, and they decided to proceed with telling my team members, even though this was a little further ahead of my transition than they had planned to do this.

Over the next few days, the two managers for my team took people aside in small groups and explained what was going on. I believe that the human resources person helped with the first of these meetings. They explained my personal situation, what the company policy was, that I was open and easy to talk to about this issue, and also stated that additional information was available (my "Transitions" paper, and also a copy of the video, "What Sex am I?", which human resources had obtained). The managers told me when this step was complete, and assured me that no one in the group had expressed any problems or concerns.

There was really little more to the whole transition. Human resources indicated that they would bring the psychology professor back for further education sessions if necessary, but there has been no need. At a staff meeting two days before transition, one manager mentioned that "Diane would be coming next week." (There was one new person in the group who did not know; that situation was quickly corrected.) The company culture here is that people do not talk about other people's personal issues, so on transition day I put a sign up under my new nameplate, saying, "Yes, It's OK to ask!" in a large, "hand-written" typeface. The point was that it was OK to ask, and OK not to ask, so that people could feel comfortable either way. Only a few people have ever discussed my transition with me, but one did say that the sign helped.

I've had no change in my relationship with co-workers. I'm sure that part of this is the company culture, but another part is that I have continued to be myself. I dress differently and I speak differently, but I'm still a competent software developer, still a team player, and still--occasionally--opinionated. I did not ask or expect to be treated differently. There are new people on the team, and whether they know, or how they know, or what they think or feel about me, is none of my business. Nor am I concerned about it. Eight months later, my sign is still up, but my presence in the group is routine, both for me and apparently for everyone else. There were few slips of name or pronoun, and none at all in recent months. I'm satisfied with all of this.

One expected problem area, rejection by Christian fundamentalists, never happened. Some people that I work with fit this description, and they are every bit as accepting as the others. I feel that education and the open culture at BNR have helped with this.

The restroom issue is still open, and probably will be for a while. It was originally described as "until surgery," but I've since decided not to have surgery, and I've had no reason to re-open the issue. One of these days something will force a change, but right now the inconvenience is minor. By comparison, if a problem were to occur in a restroom, it would be serious. Based on Y.'s experience, discussions with my own therapists, and my experience with conservative Christians here, I expect that the women who would object would do so, not on Christian grounds, but because they are women who have been sexually abused by men in restrooms. I understand and respect their fear, and I understand that the company policy of providing a "safe and comfortable workplace for everyone" includes them, too. Another session with an "outside authority" would probably be necessary, but even then there might be problems. I simply do not have any reason to open this particular problem area right now, even though I have confidence that BNR would do its best to handle it fairly.

The other continuing potential problem area, other than women, is men. Some men have trouble dealing with a male-to-female transition; I have not had this particular problem, possibly because few co-workers knew me well prior to my coming out. There are also men who are sexually attracted to transsexuals; one of these was the source of my own harassment incident. In either case, we need to have a good feel for what the company response will be if problems occur on company time or property, what--if anything--we can do before turning a problem over to the company, and where that dividing line may fall. It isn't often easy.

I do feel that the three month notice I gave before transition was sufficient, but again this is something that each person must judge for themselves. There certainly needs to be enough time for people in management to get over the shock, to learn about the issues, to decide how to handle the issues, and to implement their decisions. This is a process that should not be rushed.

This is the story of my workplace transition. I understand that your situation will be different, but when will that ever not be the case?