Have you been trying to figure community out? Where do you fit in? How do you meet like-minded friends? What can you do if you are excluded by social organizations, support groups or even clinical gender programs?

Not fitting in can feel very frustrating. Especially if you already have trouble relating to the more generic components of society. Sometimes it almost makes a person want to give up on everyone or everything when understanding people or a safe place can't be found.

In a technical sense many social organizations are private membership clubs comprised of people with like interests, and this often means those with similar backgrounds. Because identifying as 'transgender' may mean a variety of things to different people, it may be helpful to find out what an organization's 'mission' is before expecting a welcome. Request an opportunity to visit, before attending a function.

This way you can learn about the organization, and they can learn about you and your needs. If visiting or becoming a member isn't possible, specifically state that you need help locating resources. Inform your contact at the organization that you feel isolated and are having difficulty locating others with similar concerns.

Another option for finding like-minded people is to start a small social or support group which meets your needs. Does this mean you need compete with a larger group in your area? Not necessarily, since its unlikely you would want to replicate their mission.

More to the point, set out to start a group which fits a specific social or recreational function. Interestingly, I've observed that many people make friends and gain long-term support from these small groups. Special events can range from a TG writers or bowling group to a TG programmers forum or a shopper's outing.

Matters become significantly more concerning when a medical/mental health provider or a professionally staffed gender program denies you treatment. Unfortunately this is all too common an occurrence. Sometimes a person may not have insurance or an ability to pay. In other cases a person may be ill informed what their actual needs are as a transgender person. Finally, careproviders, including those within programs, often have a set base of skills and experience. Some will not feel inclined to take on cases which deviate from their norm.

Most careproviders and programs generally have some type of evaluation or assessment process to determine if they are able to take on a particular case - of course this may work against a person if his or her needs differ drastically from what the careprovider usually provides. If you suspect that yours aren't going to fit within a scheme, it would be reasonable to request a single appointment to help you locate resources. What would be unreasonable is for a person who wants or needs care to be repeatedly denied it.

Several alternatives I recommend rather than a person doing without, is for the careprovider to agree to availability on a interim or short-term basis. This allows for a person to have a professional check-in while locating resources, and may be critical for someone in crisis or with increasing difficulties. Will careproviders offer interim counseling? Some may, but most won't. I recommend that you ask.

By the time resourceless individuals reach my office, where I serve a large spectrum of special needs, often people are understandably quite angry. Particularly when they have gone without help for a long time. Be angry if you must, but do not allow it to interfere with the process of gaining support. In other words, don't allow frustration to interrupt your ability to listen to what is being suggested or inspire the individual to help you locate resources.

Most importantly, I suggest you do not give up hope. Eventually most people find resources if they are willing to ask for help. This is a pretty neat thing, particularly considering there is so much diversity in the world. Lastly, if you are turned away by some careproviders or support groups, it may mean that you avoided some unnecessary grief. After all, any group or person which does not at least support diversity and show interest in others may just be very boring an not worth your time.