It is well known that experiences encountered during childhood shape our adult lives. Frequently, I am asked if child abuse, child sexual assault or forced feminization cause adult gender issues or crossdressing. In some instances people ask because they are genuinely trying to understand how gender issues arose in their lives. Other times individuals may still be traumatized by events from the past and trying to heal.

I like to approach the preceding concerns by looking at things we already know. For example, we may simply observe that numerous children encounter bad and traumatic experiences, but certainly not all of these become gender dysphoric or crossdress. It's also safe to recognize that not every transgender adult experienced abuse or sexual assault during childhood. Do these insights mean that childhood assault and trauma have no effect on a person? Absolutely not. What is more likely to occur, is the trauma leaves a wound which can distinctly influence a person's character, future choices or self-perception.

In situations where today's adult never had a chance to deal with the traumatic wound, left unhealed this could lead to a host of present-day difficulties in life. These can include Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (and associated symptoms), relationship and intimacy problems, as well as significantly interfere with coming to terms with gender issues.

To further understand this topic, I did an informal survey of transgender histories of individuals who disclosed having experienced childhood abuse or trauma. The vast majority of persons who had started a healing process from childhood abuse felt that the trauma had some influence in gender issues, but also believe their gender differences existed consistently throughout their lives, often before the abuse occurred.

There are some situations, however, where a person's gender differences (particularly as perceived by others) may have rendered that individual more vulnerable to victimization. Childhood peers are not only ones who can act terribly. Sometimes parents may be unduly harsh on a effeminate boy or masculine girl. This is not the transgender person's fault. Many adults try to push a child into socially acceptable behavior, some go overboard and become abusive.

I am occasionally asked if a person dealing with gender issues, such one in the midst of transition, should specifically focus on abuse issues at the same time. This greatly depends on the individual's ability to function with daily life and his or her comfort level. If memories from the abuse are a significant interference, it likely would be wise to discuss these with a therapist or counselor before taking on additional stress. Otherwise, a person may simply incorporate discussion of the abuse as the need arises.

A lot of questions arise over 'forced crossdressing.' In some cases young children are dressed in opposite gender clothes. The most common reason for this is surprising. Many times economics forced a parent to give their child an older child's clothing. Alternatively, on some occasions a parent (usually the mother) wanted a specifically gendered child and so dressed her child accordingly until the youngster reached school age. Finally, in instances of severe abuse a child may have been crossdressed as a punishment. Often this is repetitive, and the shame can significantly damage the child's perception of self and gender.

Interestingly, there are many who have 'forced crossdressing' fantasies within the transgender world, and this is generally fetishistic in nature - but not always. Because we know that not every young person who was forced to crossdress reenacts the behavior as an adult, it is reasonable to conclude that forced crossdressed fantasies among adults may derive from other sources.

Essentially much of the fantasy of forced crossdressing is primal in nature, with a focus on being dominated. Dominant-submissive themes are healthy, pervasive functions within human sexuality. With that explained, it is important for transgender persons to know that forced crossdressed fantasies are not abnormal. But, all sexual activities and behaviors should to be kept safe and pleasurable for any adult involved.

Occasionally when a dominant-submissive theme is not the root of forced crossdressing fantasies, a person is sub-consciously looking for 'permission' to behave in a certain manner or dress. This dynamic is also deeply routed in the sub-conscious. It need not be harmful if it doesn't interfere with the person's ability to function within society and relationships. And, the behavior may most easily be characterized by a person's desire to be accepted by others, which is not surprising considering that society often doesn't understand or accept transgender individuals.

Returning to the overall focus of childhood abuse and trauma, be informed these are issues that can be improved on with time and effort. It is possible for transgender people who experienced these things to build healthy lives and relationships. In fact, gradually exploring above issues can help us better understand our feelings, reactions and why it is that sometimes our perceptions differ vastly from others.

Dealing with childhood traumas is typically a gradual process for most people. Some who faced severe abuse may find it a lifelong one. Nevertheless, every effort toward healing counts. Figuratively, healing is much like peeling layers off an onion - reaching the center takes time and effort. Gradually, however, the pain lessens and disturbing memories become less vivid. Best of all, every person is capable of creating a reality which is healing and supportive in a present sense.