Of all the senseless trials a parent might encounter, none are so devastating as an interruption of that parent's ability to care for his or her child. Transgender parents, which include transsexuals, crossdressers, and others involved in custody battles, frequently face the prospect of having a former spouse or court significantly interfere with or interrupt one's ability to provide parenting. Over the years, I have observed that very little information exists for transgender parents who are facing child custody hearings in which the transgender identity has become a target issue. One of the reasons such a void exists regarding this issue is because many complexities exist. Even if you do not have children, take the time to read this article slowly and carefully. Many the principles reviewed here are similar to those used in providing a sophisticated presentation regarding gender identity issues with courts, employers, and other bureaucracies. This is particularly true if you wish to demonstrate a seriousness behind your expectation to be treated fairly, regardless of your transgender identity or crossdressing needs.

There are a variety of factors which become evident when the transgender issue is raised within custody proceedings. For instance, the most damaging charge any former spouse, court or psychiatrist, can bring against a transgender person is to declare that individual mentally unstable or incapable of parenting because a transgender identity exists. Additionally, what needs to be recognized where children are concerned is that courts make child custody decisions in the best interests of children--not adults. Finally, far too commonly today's courts, lawyers and assessing psychiatrists, have very little information or experience dealing with transgender issues. When these factors are added together, it should become obvious that every transgender parent facing a custody battle will need to be prepared to navigate a difficult process. Before this article can progress any further I strongly recommend that individuals seek an attorney's advice and representation for legal matters.

During child custody assessments, the courts have a responsibility to insure that they are not placing a child in a situation where a possibility of harm exists. Examples of this include situations where a parent has been proven to be negligent or incapable of caring for his child. Among many things, a parents ability to provide care could be interrupted by a mental impairment with untreated symptoms. During proceedings, one or both parents may be asked to undergo court-ordered psychological testing or a psychiatric evaluation by a psychologist or psychiatrist. Transgender parents like their non-transgender counterparts, should not be excluded from this process if a court is to be certain of a parent's competency. However, when a court or court-appointed psychiatrist is unaware that significant numbers of transgender persons are good single and partnered parents, this can present serious difficulties. The preceding is particularly so if presentation of the gender identity factor is not managed properly during the custody proceedings as well as court-ordered psychological or psychiatric evaluations.

During the past 10 years of my working in private practice as a gender-specializing community mental health counselor, I have worked with over 1600 clients, the majority of whom are adults parenting juvenile children. Consequently, I have observed that transgender persons are as capable of being good parents as their non-transgender counterparts. Using the clinical database of information gathered for the publication of the book Transgender Care (Temple University Press / 1997), my co-author Donald Tarver M.D. and I found that " thousands of transgender individuals lead well-adjusted lives as productive and law-abiding participants in society." My colleague, Mildred Brown, Ph.D., during the authorship of her book True Selves (Jossey Bass Publishers / 1996) found similar conclusions. She also described the severe harm done to children when the child-parent relationship is interrupted.

"There is no logical reason why someone living in the opposite gender role should be separated from his or her offspring. A sex change does not in any way diminish the parent's love for the child, nor does it affect the ability to be a good parent.

Approximately a dozen of my transsexual patients have had sole custody of their children, and the children have grown up to be happy, well adjusted, non-gender-conflicted, sexually confident adults.

In fact, a study conducted by Dr. Richard Green in 1978 found that children raised in transsexual households developed a non-conflicted gender identity and a heterosexual orientation and did not differ from children raised in more conventional households."

True Selves - page 188.

Crossdressers, like their transsexuals, also face potential custody battle issues. This occurs even though a child may not even be aware that his or her parent crossdresses. This introduces an important question that courts frequently ask. At what age are children capable of intellectually comprehend the facts surrounding gender identity? In my research for a previous article titled " The Impact on Children of a Crossdressing or Transgender Parent," that question was answered when I interviewed Barbara Anderson Ph.D., a San Francisco family therapist and clinical sexologist with over 30 years experience. In context, she stated that by age four children are capable of differentiating gender. Knowledge of gender identity is important if children are going to understand what it means to have a parent who is a transsexual or crossdresser. According to Dr. Anderson " recognizing and addressing biases or prejudices is an important part of learning how to interact with others." Her observation lends credence to my observation that the children of a parent who crossdresses or has a transsexual identity, with parental supervision, often have a head start in dealing with important social issues.

There are other parent-child dynamics which need to be addressed during child custody proceedings and evaluations. For example, children generally accept a parent's behavior as well as identity without a great deal of question during childhood. The preceding does not however give parents free reign to disregard their children's needs at any time including during a separation or divorce. Parents should remind their children that they are loved. Adults also need to act in a responsible fashion and demonstrate how people who once cared for each other handle separation. Mutual responsibility is crucial in any divorce or separation process.

One key factor which is typically evident within many separations and divorces, is that the two adults may no longer fulfill each other's needs. In some cases a person's evolving gender identity may change the course of the couple's relationship, however more often than not there are a variety of factors which caused the divorce or separation. No matter what caused the separation or divorce of two adults, both individuals are still responsible for raising their children in a non-judgmental fashion that does not undermine either partner's parenting duties. Notably, most children of a transgender parent adapt as well to child custody and visitation arrangements as children without a transgender parent.

Increasingly, many courts and court-appointed psychologists and psychiatrists are now recognizing that a hostile non-transgender spouse will exploit the gender identity or crossdressing issue. This is particularly so when the non-transgender spouse and his or her legal counsel has ran out of valid issues which would demonstrate neglect or incompetence. Moreover, when a carefully-selected presentation of the gender identity issues is demonstrated before a court or used to inform court-appointed psychologists and psychiatrists, these parties are now recognizing that a parent's having a transgender identity or need to crossdress does not adversely effect parenting. To bring an accurate as well as positive view of gender identity issues, the transgender parent first needs to educate his or her own lawyer. He or she then needs to allow the lawyer to advise and represent. Lawyers typically have excellent presentation and communication skills. Their education also make them intimately familiar with what, when and how information should be presented to the court and court-appointed psychologist and psychiatrists.

The preceding information is in fact very good news for any transgender parent. It does however beg an answer to a very important question. What information exactly should a transgender person provide his or her attorney? It is realistic to ask the attorney what he or she feels would be useful in presenting transgender information. However, more often than not, attorneys are not familiar with gender issues and the transgender parent is left to decide what information would be most valuable to their case. Brevity and relevancy, in my experience, are the two most important factors used in deciding what materials are appropriate in custody proceedings or evaluations. No lawyer, judge or assessing psychotherapist wants to be flooded with information. Providing too much irrelevant information can make a parent look controlling. Therefore, materials need to be carefully-selected, brief, and easy-to understand. Those materials that are most appropriate will directly address legal questions at hand. Does the transgender or crossdressing issue interrupt a parent's ability to provide and care for their child? Moreover, is the parent psychologically stable?

Much can be gained from working with an attorney to address matters of general psychological stability. In all likelihood if the transgender parent is seeing a psychotherapist or psychiatrist, he or she can provide the court an evaluation or declaration regarding his or her mental status. The preceding is commonly used by attorneys in the representation of their clients. If any mental health question remain unanswered, the it is also common for courts to a point a court appointed psychologist or psychiatrist to examine one or both parents. Probably the two most important points to know about court-appointed psychologists or psychiatrists are as follows. First, these individuals are not interested in taking either parent's side. Their sole duty is to assess a parent's fitness to care for children, and make recommendations to the court based on the assessments. The court-appointed psychologist and psychiatrist may be polite, however that usually is the extent of their friendliness. A person should ask his or her attorney for help if any conflicts or questions arise regarding the court-appointed psychologist or psychiatrist. Finally, court-appointed psychologists and psychiatrists typically will not have up-to-date information on gender issues.

At the time a parent's psychological stability is being assessed, this often is the appropriate time for an attorney to also provide the court brief, relevant information regarding gender identity issues. This same packet of information in all likelihood should be provided to the court-appointed psychiatrist or psychologist, at the time that questions regarding gender identity issues or crossdressing are raised during an evaluation process. Examples of materials that can provide information about gender identity issues include photocopies of book sections, professional articles and brochures. (A lawyer or gender expert can outline or bracket those sections that speak to issues at hand). The transgender person should also be prepared to answer questions about their transgender identity or crossdressing needs, and I highly advise that he or she discuss self-presentation with an experienced gender specializing counselor before doing so. The preceding is particularly important for anyone who has less than several years experience disclosing to both professionals and strangers.

One of the most powerful documents a transgender parent can use to aid in the representation of gender issues is a Gender Specialized Mental Health Declaration. For brevity, we will call that the Gender Expert Declaration. A declaration is document written by an expert in a field, which is then approved by someone with legal writing experience. As a gender expert with legal experience I have provided a number of such documents in cases. I have found that courts appreciate declarations because they provide a relevant review of the situation at hand, and are written in a format and language recognizable to courts. The body of a declaration typically attests to the gender expert's background, provides an overview of relevant information, and contains references to academic writing which support the expert's observation. As this article has previously discussed, presentation of gender identity issues to courts is not a common occurrence for many attorneys. Consequently, while some attorneys will specifically seek to include a gender expert declaration with their presentation of transgender identity or crossdressing issues, other attorneys should be asked if such a document is relevant to the case at hand. I have found in most cases that a Gender Expert Declaration is useful where any uncertainly abounds regarding gender identity or crossdressing issues.

Sometimes both attorneys and gender experts remain uncertain as to whether general or evaluation information, or both should be included in the gender expert's declaration. I advise attorneys that a declaration needs to contain more evaluation references as magnification of the gender issue becomes evident. Generally however for most cases, broad statements regarding gender issues are sufficient when a declaration is used for educational and information purposes alone. Gender experts without legal writing experience are advised to seek an attorney's counsel if they do not understand when and how to place information within a declaration.

I have handled the writing of a variety of legal declarations as a gender expert over the years. In my experience an expertly crafted declaration will adequately address the courts questions as to whether transgender persons are capable parents. Unless a court is exceptionally prejudiced, most judges recognize that a parent's transgender identity or crossdressing needs, like a variety of other human conditions, do not interfere with the child's welfare when parents make a concerted effort to safeguard their children from harm. Court-appointed psychologists and psychiatrists also may appear to believe transgender identity or crossdressing needs are a hindrance to a child's welfare, however their duty is to provide the court recommendations of potential liabilities. Parents from all backgrounds may find a psychologists or psychiatrists recommendations to the court to be somewhat impersonal or even strongly-worded, however they serve a serious purpose in protecting children.

Climbing up the ladder of presenting gender expert information to courts and court-appointed psychologists and attorneys, a transgender parent may wish to have a gender specialized evaluation of him or herself. This is particularly so if there is a risk of an ex spouse and his or her counsel unreasonably magnifying the gender issue. A gender specialized evaluation in combination with a standard psychological evaluation can prevent continued exploitation of the transgender person; however the introduction and placement of such evaluations should be carefully decided upon between the transgender parent and his or her attorney. In some circumstances, particularly if a transgender person has never been evaluated by a gender specialist, undergoing a gender specialized evaluation can provide the transgender person detailed observations and recommendations regarding his or her personal gender situation.

Although it is extremely rare, as well as expensive, a gender expert can be called to testify at a hearing. In doing so the expert might discuss gender issues broadly, or provide the court information about his or her assessment of the transgender parent. Any appearance by a gender expert would clearly need to come under the advice of legal counsel. Generally, I advise attorneys that expert appearances can be avoided by carefully presenting an expert declaration and other relevant materials early in the custody proceedings when magnification of the gender issue appears likely.

The most frustrating, confusing and frightening aspect of being a parent involved in a custody hearing, is communicating with attorneys, courts, and court-appointed psychologists and psychiatrists. I have had numerous clients call my office deeply disturbed because they did not feel their situation was understood, or that phone calls were not returned promptly by counsel. Other individuals stated that they did not really understand the process of custody proceedings. People also feel violated when their qualifications as a parent are being challenged. Finally, during the resolution of child custody issues the financial expense of lawyers and court-appointed evaluations can increase at an alarming rate. Such sentiments are common when a person encounters the legal system. I recognize this as I have had experience managing legal cases for civil, criminal and family court proceedings. As a therapist who regularly interacts with the legal profession, there are a variety of insights I have picked up which a transgender parent may find helpful.

It is extremely important to understand that the legal process takes time. Sometimes it feels as if it takes forever, all while a person is trying to manage life in general. A person is strongly advised to maintain a calendar. This way legal and psychological appointments can be managed as efficiently as possible. Keeping a calendar also allows a person to manage their free time, preventing emotional and physical burnout. Taking well-organized notes during conversations with any party or professional involved in a case is highly recommended. Doing so will help provide a reference to things that were said but are easily forgotten during the confusion of a legal process. Keeping a list of queries that can be asked during conversations with relevant parties is also important as this allows a person to insure that questions do not go unanswered. Finally, if a person is attempting to pull together presentation materials of any nature for a legal process, it is prudent to remember that more often than not the person with the most organized and relevant information comes out ahead.