For men and women dealing with gender issues, and particularly those facing hardship because of others prejudices, there are so many reasons one can be without hope.  Being abandoned and rejected by friends and loved ones, losing one's job, struggling to explain our story to medical providers who at best seem skeptical. The list goes on and on, and we ask what is the meaning?

Often there is no purpose or reason for hardships encountered.  We can logically explain that bad things happen in life and that people have difficulties understanding differences in others.  We know that doctors receive very strict medical training, which doesn't leave a lot of room for creativity.  And, others sometimes just don't give a damn about their fellow human being.  Lost is the caring, the humaneness, the compassion.

Yet, from the confusion and pain in such darkness, I have repeatedly seen random glimmers of hope.  Even, miracles!  Two transgender folks will meet, and an instant support group is formed where sharing can begin. Someone adopts new friends and family to fill the void, and then does so all over again when things change.  A patient will connect with just the right physician, who is willing to learn about transgender needs.  Even the solitude can feel like an old familiar friend, because it just might be from where we came long ago.

There are no easy answers for getting hope back.  But, it is possible no matter who ever and where ever you are.  Between my office in San Francisco, and clients I have seen from Maine to Oregon, there is a lot of space.  And, there is even more energy.  The mere fact that you are living, breathing, can smile at your own chosen name is hope.  So, too, is figuring out who you are.  And, if you have one friend, one dream, or did one good thing for yourself or another you can then say you had a good day.

There are no set rules from where you can get hope.  When you got it, however, nobody can steal it away permanently.  It just keeps coming back again and again.  Amazingly, hope can even come from strangers, people we will never meet.  Did you know that certain monks and priests spend years in solitude by choice?  Their reason, to pray and meditate for the forgotten, unheard and afraid.  This includes transgender men, women and young adults.  We are so often ignored, pushed aside and fearful of what the future holds.

Hope also is about not always taking, but being someone who gives back to others, even sharing with a stranger.  Is there one who needs a moment of your time today?  If we stop to listen we can find hope.  It is waiting for you and others when all light seems lost.  Just having a little, no matter how small, gives us a chance to see that darkness isn't forever. Fortunately, transitions are most tender at the beginning, and with effort things will improve.