Note: This FAQ is incomplete. I have made it available because it now contains considerably more than the original FAQ, but there is still much work to be done. Please send suggestions, comments, and contributions to Diane Wilson.

5.1 How do I know?

5.2 What is Gender Therapy About?

Gender therapy can be a useful tool for many of us. You should expect the following from a good therapist:

• Acceptance. We are who we are, and a therapist cannot change that. Neither is their anything wrong with being transgendered.
• Insight. When many of us finally reach a point of being ready to deal with who we are, we may not know what that really means. A good therapist will help us explore our issues, in a way that lets us find our own answers.
• Support. You may face difficult issues relating to family or employment. A good therapist will help you find ways to deal with these.
• Assistance. Therapists are placed in the role of approving access to hormone therapy and to sex reassignment surgery. While a good therapist will challenge you so that you can both be sure that you're doing the right thing, you should not encounter unreasonable delays or refusals.
• Overall concern for your mental health. Many of us are in deep pain because of who we are, and associated issues such as depression are not at all uncommon. A good therapist will help you deal with all of your issues as a whole-life approach to dealing with being transgendered.

What you should expect not to hear from a good therapst:

• I can cure you. The only appropriate response is to run.
• Gatekeeping. If you are looking for approval for hormones or surgery, your therapist should spell out exactly what conditions apply. These should not be significantly different from the Standards of Care. If you start getting vague responses, additional conditions added late in the process, or referral to "approval committees," it may be time to find a new therapist. Gatekeeping seems to be a particular risk with universities, with some gender clinics, and with therapists who are not familiar with gender issues.

If you'd like to see what kinds of things a gender therapist might say, Gianna Isreal provides a glimpse into the way she works by providing a library of writings on gender.

If you are considering therapy, or in therapy and having a rough time with it, you may want to read the Therapy FAQ and Can You Be Honest With Your Therapist?

Additional mental health resources are also available on the web.

5.3 What Should I Know About Coming Out?

5.4 What About Conflicts with Religion?

This is a difficult area for many people, due to the sanctions that many religious organizations have against both crossdressing and homosexuality, and the fact that many people consider these to be manifestations of the same "sins." The real answers come through information, perspective, acceptance, and choice.

The Gallae Pages focus on religion and transgenderism, both past and present. Vanessa Kaye has written a piece on transgenderism and religion from a Taoist point of view that is well worth reading.

Christianity presents a difficult obstacle for many people; I recommend visiting Jade Catherine's collection of writings on Christianity and gender where you can find much useful information. Crossing the Gender Line Archives provides another excellent resource, Emergence: Resources for the Christian Transsexual.

The Unitarian Universalists may offer an attractive alternative. Unitarians are unusually tolerant and accepting; their focus is on respect for people and their beliefs, rather than on any specific creed or dogma. In the US, the Unitarians have even separated themselves out from Christianity, in the interest of providing a greater diversity of religious and spiritual expression. In essence, you don't have to change your beliefs to become a Unitarian.

5.5 Which Restroom Do I Use?

5.6 What About Support Resources?

5.6.1 What Support Resources are Available in Real Life?

5.6.2 What other electronic resources are available?

Due to the ever-changing nature of the Net, this list is probably incomplete, and becomes out of date quickly between postings. Updates and additions are always welcomed.

Internet addresses are set between <> symbols for clarity but are not part of the addresses themselves.

Newsgroups

Many news servers do not carry alt.* groups, or carry specific groups only on request. if any of these groups are unavailable to you, contact your system administrator.

alt.transgendered

Created October 30, 1992. Ongoing discussions of the creation of a group in the soc.* hierarchy were cut short by the creation of a bogus newsgroup in the alt.sex.* hierarchy. In order to forestall that sort of stereotyping, an alt.* group was created (this takes less time than a soc.* group). soc.support.transgendered was originally proposed as a replacement for alt.transgendered. The group continues to attract posters, and is far from "replaced" at this point. To subscribe, use your newsreader's "subscribe" or "goto" command.

alt.support.sexreassign

Created August 1, 1996, for discussion of issues related to sex reassignment.

alt.support.srs

Created in April, 1997 to replace alt.support.sexreassign, primarily because the word "sex" in the newsgroup name attracted some unwanted attention.

alt.fashion.crossdressing and alt.support.crossdressing

Created in December 1966 for discussion of issues related to crossdressing.

alt.support.crossliving

Created in December 1966 for discussion of issues related to crossliving, specifically to those who crosslive without surgery.

alt.personals.transgendered

Created in 1995 for personals relating to transgendered people.

Mailing Lists Note: Please do not send subscription requests to the poster of the FAQ!

transgen

Transgen is an unmoderated, non-anonymous mailing list, with membership by approval of the listowner. Discussions range very widely, and traffic is significant. To subscribe, send an email message containing only the line:

subscribe transgen YourFirstName YourLastName

to <listserv@brownvm.brown.edu>. Further information is available by reading the listowner's informational file on the web page http://drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu/~julie/transgen.html.

cd-forum

Administrative requests/questions: <mailto:cd-request@TheRev.LosAlamos.nm.us> To subscribe, send a message to the administrative address.

Here is the list administrator's blurb: cd forum is a non-profit, private, digested electronic mailing list for the support of cross-dressing, transsexuality, and other gender issues. Friendly and frank discussions. No membership fees. Your address will be kept in strict confidence. Articles you submit for publication in the forum are stripped of header and signature ID unless you instruct otherwise. To subscribe, please send a short paragraph describing your interest in cd forum, and where you heard of it. You will be required to submit an introductory article within one month of your subscription.

UKTG mailing list

The UKTG mailing list was created on 3rd October 1994 in response to a call for a UK Transgender newsgroup. UKTG has over 100 subscribers from around the world--made up of approximately 50% UK, 40% US, 10% other. Discussion of any kind is welcomed, although it should generally be of relevance to the UK. UKTG is on a private domain, on a UUCP dial-up connection. A poll is done at approximately 4 hourly intervals. Mail is sent out as individual posts--a digest will be added in future. The option to post anonymously is available (a different address where headers are manually stripped). An FTP facility is currently being added. This will be on my service providers machine and moderated by one person from the UK and one from the US (chosen, but to be announced).

How to subscribe: Send a message containing the single line:

subscribe uktg YourFirstName YourLastName

to <uktg@roses-online.org>. Subscription requests through anonymous remailers will not be honored.

TGS-PFLAG

This is a list for people all over the world who have friends or family members who are transgendered. We also welcome the participation of those in the tg community who are concerned with issues of parental/familial acceptance.

This list is part of the in-development PFLAG Transgender Family & Friends Support Network. PFLAG National is not responsible for postings or comments that may be made on the list.

TGS-PFLAG is an unmoderated discussion list, and is provided as a safe space to share personal experiences, to provide support, or to help list members find resources in their own communities.

Although list membership is public, all subscription requests must be approved to protect the safety of this space. Any list member who posts personal attacks of other list members, or hate-filled drivel of any sort, will be immediately removed from the list and barred from future participation in this group. In this matter, the judgement of the list owner shall be final.

To subscribe to this list, send the one word message

SUBSCRIBE

to <tgs-pflag-request@mtcc.com> or for the digest (which comes out approximately once a day) send the same message to <mailto:tgs-pflag-digest-request@mtcc.com>.

KidsOfGays

An e-mail list for daughters and sons of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents, to talk about AIDS, teasing, gay and straight parents, feelings, school, and much more (all the things we can't talk about anywhere else).

The list is open to anyone who is a daughter or son of l/g/b/t parent(s); including people with gay foster parents or other guardians; people whose parents are just coming out, or whose parents were out before they were born; kids, teens, adults. The list is moderated by someone with a lesbian mom. No parents will participate in the list unless they have gay parents themselves.

To subscribe to the list, send e-mail to: <majordomo@vector.casti.com> and write in the body of the message (not the subject):

subscribe kidsofgays yourfirstname yourlastname <e-mail address>

So for instance, Janice Doe would send: subscribe kidsofgays Janice Doe <JaniceD@aol.com> Kids may use their parent's e-mail address, but we ask that parents refrain from reading or contributing to the list.

TG-SPIRIT

A free-form conference for discussion, debate and discourse on transgender spirituality. Members of all religions are welcome, although the list is not to be used as a forum for the proselytization of a particular religion and/or its dogma. To subscribe to TG-SPIRIT send e-mail to <listserv@listserv.aol.com> with the message

SUBSCRIBE TG-SPIRIT YOURNAME

American Educational Gender Information Service (AEGIS)

News items and press releases, postings from AEGIS and other organizations and individuals. To be on the list, send e-mail to <listserv@xconn.com> and on the first line of the body of your message, include the following:

subscribe aegisnws

GenderHelp

Addressing issues of coming out, transition, sexuality, etc. Largely transsexual in content, but no restrictions on membership, only a requirement that postings address the issues. To be on the list, send e-mail to <listserv@xconn.com> and on the first line of the body of your message, include the following:

subscribe genderhelp

AtlantaGender

A general purpose list for the Atlanta transgender community to coordinate events. To be on the list, send e-mail to <majordomo@lists.mindspring.com> and on the first line of the body of your message, include the following:

subscribe atlanta-gender <your e-mail address>

TGC-L

Transgendered Canada Listserv is a private list devoted to the discussion of issues pertinent to the Canadian Transgendered community. Issues ranging from political and medical matters, family difficulties, all the way to shopping trips and tips are welcome. TGC-L does not have a particular viewpoint, and all opinions are welcome. We urge members to be polite, considerate and supportive. Flames and personal attacks will not be tolerated, and abusive subscribers will be dropped. Anyone interested in subscribing should send a message to <mailto:listserv@yorku.ca> containing the single line:

SUBSCRIBE TGC-L "Your Name"

The message will be bounced to a list administrator who will contact you for a bio. List Administrators are Sherry, <fins@vcn.bc.ca> and Miqqi Alicia, <gilbert@yorku.ca>.

tslesbian

Available as of January, 1997. Despite its name, it is actually for people who identify as lesbian and bisexual MTF TS's: pre-op, non-op, and post-op. The list is also for people who identify as transgenderists and who consider themselves to be lesbian or bisexual women. To subscribe, send a message to <tslesbian-request@lists.best.com> containing the single word

subsingle

You will receive a verifcation message which you must read and respond to in order to complete the subscription process.

glbt-workplace

glbt-workplace is a general discussion list on any topic which is in some way related to both GLBTs and the workplace. There are many unique concerns that GLBTs have in the workplace - being closeted, outed and coming out; interactions with coworkers and managers; activism to attain equitable treatment; workplace activities in the community, etc. This is the appropriate place to post news stories, action alerts, questions, or just general discussion.

The goals of this list are to: - provide a supportive space for the workplace concerns of GLBTs - share what it is like to be GLBT in various fields - industry, acedemia, professional, blue collar, pink collar, etc. - facilitate activism and an exchange of ideas - share resources for information and mutual support

To subscribe, send email to <Majordomo@QueerNet.ORG>, with the body containing:

subscribe glbt-workplace your-email-address 

Questions? Contact <klyndon@queernet.org>

NOTE: The transgender online service Cross Connection carries the TRANSGEN, TG-DISCUSS, TG-SPIRIT, and AEGIS mailing lists as local echoes; users of this service do not need to subscribe to these lists to read them. The GenderHelp list will also be echoed on Cross Connection once it is active.

IRC Channels

#crossdress

A stable channel, with a number of regulars. If you know how to use IRC, once you are connected, type /join #crossdress. Check with your site administrator to find out if your site provides IRC access. Once you're on the channel, do take advantage of the automated server program, CDserv. Type "/msg CDserv help" for more information.

#transgen

Formed January 1995, the channel has gained a regular following. To join the channel, type /join #transgen. The channel has a server, JulieBot. Type /msg JulieBot help for more information.

FTP Sites

Well, it is a frequently asked question! To answer it, there are no publicly-accessible FTP sites with pictures of the transgendered, to the best of my knowledge. There may be private archives, but they usually do not contain erotic pictures. If you desperately need erotic pictures of the transgendered, buy some sleazy magazines and a scanner.

CROSS CONNECTION Archive Server

The transgender community on-line service Cross Connection maintains a free access archive of various information text files, including many files edited from Usenet and mailing list postings. The server transmits files by e-mail in response to properly-formatted requests; to receive instructions on using the server, send e-mail to <archive@xconn.com> with a blank message body and the subject

REQUEST XCINFO.TXT 

and the server will e-mail you an information file.

The soc.support.transgendered FAQ is available through the CROSS CONNECTION archive server by using

REQUEST S-S-TG.FAQ 

as the subject. It is also available on the web at <http://www.firelily.com/gender/sstgfaq/index.html>.

World-Wide Web Pages

<http://www2.wintermute.co.uk/users/snuffles/The_Plaid/>

an extensive gender information directory in Scotland.

<http://drycas.club.cc.cmu.edu/~julie/gender.html>

Julie Waters' personal collection of writings and connections to other web resources.

<http://www.sn.no/~jane/>

Jenny Sands' collection of writings and connections to other web resources.

<http://www.transgender.org/tg/ifge/>

the home page for the International Federation for Gender Education, with links to organizations, support groups, and more.

<http://www.firstnethou.com/brenda/>

Brenda Thomas' personal home page

<http://www.firelily.com/gender/index.html>

Diane Wilson's personal home page, gender history, and resource list

<http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/Christine_Burns/pfc.htm>

Home page for Press For Change, the UK transsexual action group

<http://www.globalnet.co.uk/~cheryl/index.html>

The Sussex Transgendered Page, including the TransEssex group

<http://travesti.geophys.mcgill.ca/~tstar/>

Information on therapists, lawyers, endocrinologists and surgeons

<http://www.imagin.net/~crashit/midday>

Resources and tips

<http://www3.pgh.net/~dscott/transfam.html>

TransFamily, a transgender/family/friends support group

<http://haven.ios.com/~chatchka/cable.html>

J.U.M.P.S.T.A.R.T., a New Jersey-based support group

<http://www.isna.org/>

Intersex Society of North America

<http://www.qis.net/~triea/>

Intersex Voices

Web pages are only included in the FAQ if the author/owner has posted it to me by e-mail or publicly in a newsgroup or list. Please don't send me the URL for someone else's page; have them drop me a line.

Other Electronic Resources

TransgenderNet is the first and only private e-mail and discussion forum network for crossdressers and transsexuals.

TGNet includes forums on crossdressing, MTF and FTM transsexuality, and BDSM; special forums for post-op transsexuals and partners of transgendered people; a personals area, and general discussion of transgenderism. There is no cost to subscribing BBS operators other than a short phone call to a hub each night.

For information, send e-mail to <archive@xconn.com> with the subject line

REQUEST TGNETPOL.UUE 

and a uuencoded zip file will be returned by e-mail (you willl need both UUDECODE and PKUNZIP to read the file).

If you would like to sample TransgenderNet, the full feed is available here at Cross Connection in Van Nuys, California. Dial in with your modem to 1-818-786-8887 and type GUEST at the login prompt for a free 15-minute look around. (Be sure to also check our 90% spam-free Usenet in Adult Interests, Transgender Community, and Worldwide Personals.)

---

Disclaimer: Use this at your own risk. Things change daily on the Net and net-related information in this FAQ may not necessarily be correct. The only part of this document that can be considered perpetually accurate is the charter quoted in the first section of the Introduction.

Copyright © 1994-1997 by Amy A. Lewis, Kymberleigh Richards, and Diane Wilson. This page may be redistributed only after notifying the authors and entirely without changes other than what may be required for formatting into another medium.

Last updated May 27, 2001.

The soc.support.transgendered FAQ was originally written by Amy A. Lewis <alicorn@pobox.com>, and was updated in late 1995 and early 1996 by Kymberleigh Richards <sysadmin@xconn.com>. It is currently maintained by Diane Wilson <diane@firelily.com>; updates and additions should be sent to Diane Wilson. The FAQ Introduction is also available via the Cross Connection archive server.