1

Cathy:

"Pete and I have been talking about consolidating our machines. We've decided it just doesn't make sense for both of us to be spending money on computers. You know, for a couple of techno-geeks, this is probably a sign of real commitment."

Diane:

"I have two machines. Does that mean I'm dissociative?"

My inner children refuse to integrate on Windows 95. What can I say?

2

Lisa Chabot writes:

> I am frankly unconcerned with the emotional life of my computer.

I predict that your computer will leave you (probably for another computer; who would trust a human after something like this?) and sue for palimony. ComputerWorld will report updates on the suit for years to come. You will pay for your computer's therapy for the rest of your life, and other computers will shy away from you.

At the very least, all of its keys will be depressed, and you will be unable to type.