There was a spate of these in talk.bizarre. These are mine:

Patrick Henry Sells Out to Evel Knevel

Give me liberty, or give me a death-defying jump across the Snake River.

Jesus Sells Out

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit Paradise Acres.

Dame Edith Sitwell Sells Out

Do not take a bath in Jordan, Gordon,
On the Holy Sabbath on the Peaceful Day.
Or you'll never get to heaven, Gordon McPherson,
And speaking purely as a private person,
That is the place,
That is the place,
That is the place
For me to sell these lovely English doilies I've been making behind the facade.

Bill Gates Sells Out

Once upon a time I thought that my billions would make me happy. Then I got married. But even this was not enough.

So I have donated all my stock holdings and my day-to-day control of Microsoft to the Church of Scientology. Yes, through L. Ron Hubbard, I have at last found peace.