Anyone who has even heard of Marshall McLuhan is an over-educated, liberal, atheist, elitist snob who utterly fails to understand that late twentieth century America is the epitome, the essence, the pinnacle, the very definition of civilization.

Robert Fulghum was right. Everything I need to know, I learned in kindergarten.

It was for a game aimed at preteen girls called "Sealed With A Kiss".

I just love it when this three-year-old child materializes a few feet from me, realizes that Mommmmmeeeeee didn't materialize there with him, and starts screaming like a homing beacon on an emergency broadcast frequency.

If I were hungry, you would not give me sympathy. Sympathy would not nourish me. Instead, you would give me food. But in the long run, I must learn to feed myself.

A couple--of acquaintance only through the net--had the great good fortune to become pregnant, followed almost immediately by the great misfortune of a spontaneous miscarriage.

What does it mean when you write a flame, and your flame gets fan mail?

Blow this project out your ass, will you??

cherry blossoms fall
seen, unseen, mourned or ignored
natural causes

"Bittersweet Symphony." This kind of thing makes me cringe (first) and reach for the lead pipe (second). They bloody well ought to be calling this the "Saccharine Symphony."

Doom is chic only when it is continuous, when it goose-steps swaggeringly at your side, with a non-stop howl of glee.