Hi...

Welcome all of you to asd... I hope you like it here, I've found it to be warm and supportive place. I hope you do too.

I just want to alert you to a couple things about asd that might take some getting used to.

One of the big problems people have when they first join asd is that they seem to be ignored.

Please, don't think we are ignoring you because you don't belong here. We have other reasons :)

Seriously, there are some good reasons why posts don't get replied to.

First of all, newsgroups are not like email in one important respect: not all newsreaders get all posts at the same time. Sometimes it takes days, or even a week, for a post to reach a newsreader. So, if you post, it's entirely possible that people won't see it for a few days, and even if they respond right away you might not see that response for a few more days.

Which leads me to the second thing... many people won't respond right away. They'll wait on it for a little while, thinking of what to say. Some people won't answer it at all, for various reasons...

Which, of course, leads to some more things...

Not all depressive symptoms are the same, and not all people with depression share common experiences. so, some people just can't relate to what you have to say.

And, even if they do relate... Remember, all of here are depressed. not all of us have the strength or will to reply to postings when we're down. I know that when I am down, I either don't write at all to asd, or just write about myself. I can't help people when I'm down, and I know other people are the same.

Sometimes, people will only respond to joke threads. Why? Cause it is easier... Sometimes we just need a lift, and don't want to get emotionally involved again. Selfish? You bet... But that's why we're here... To get help for ourselves. when everything is all right, we try our best to offer support to others, but sometimes we need to concentrate on ourselves.

Some of you might have noticed little cliques.

Trust me, there are no exclusive clubs here. But, as people get to know each other, certain people just connect to each other. There are some people here I am very close to, others I'm not close to at all.

But, these small circles of friends aren't closed to newbies. Quite the contrary... They're very open. But, you have to be around enough to have made a connection to them... It won't happen on its own, just like in real life.

And, then there is the possibility that people just haven't read your post. Not everyone reads everything.

The trick is to get yourself noticed. Yell and scream. Put "newbie looking for help" in your subject header. Lurk for a couple days and email someone directly.

We tend to gravitate to our friends. It's natural. Unfortunately, that makes it hard to get noticed sometimes. So, you have to shove your way in. But, once in you're in.

If no one replies to your first posting, try again. And, mention that no one replied to you the first time. That usually works to get attention.

So, welcome to asd... Hope you find it as good a place as I have.

During discussions around this same time, some other people have suggested some ways to get noticed:

If you use an anonymous remailer, pick a nickname for yourself that will stand out. People aren't going to be able to keep track of anon7822915 when anon7822916 is also crying for help. (If Diane ever goes anonymous, she has dibs on "phoenix meat." That's hers. Pick something else!)

When you post, especially your first few posts, be fairly descriptive about your situation. It's hard for anyone to respond to "help" or "i'm in trouble" when there is no background, no detail, nothing more to go on. Yes, it's hard. Do it anyway.

If you can, give support to someone else. When you give support, the people you help will remember you.

And post more than once. Familiarity does not breed contempt in asd, but it does breed familiarity.